


Trials and Tribulations

by SeasonalTea



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Characters and relationships will be added as they appear, Gender-neutral Reader, Isekai series, Multi, Non-master reader, Taking requests!, This is basically a collection of various shorts and oneshots as they get written
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2020-05-15 15:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19298740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeasonalTea/pseuds/SeasonalTea
Summary: Life was hard.  Life in Chaldea was even harder.  Maybe though, just maybe, you could make the best of this.[FGO Collection -- Taking requests]





	1. Welcome

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is just going to be a dumping ground for short stories and standalones essentially, but they can all be considered the same reader character since I use a stock setting for these. This will not be in chronological order. I'll explain request requirements and such below so for now enjoy!

“How are you feeling?” the man, who you presumed is a doctor based on how he introduced himself, asked you.  His rather bright orange hair was pulled into a high ponytail and you could not quite tell if the fluffiness it presented was natural or a result of unkemptness.  Figuring including the title to his name was too annoying, you deferred to referring to the man as Romani, although you hoped it was not a name you had to remember.

The idea was to not be here very long at all.

“...A bit hungry,” you mumbled in response to his question.

The blanket around your shoulders felt stiff and a bit suffocating.  It was one of those medical blankets--a shock blanket, you remembered from a mystery live action series remake that was popular a while back--that was supposed to comfort you, but it felt more annoying than anything else.  If you tried to shrug it off, however, the doctor would fuss over you and make sure it stayed snug around your form seated on the edge of the bed.

He was a rather awkward one, this Romani character.  He asked you the most basic medical office questions in the most stale fashion, but you could tell he was sincerely worried about you and cared about how you answered.

“Ah, um, well, I have some cookies around here somewhere if you want?” the doctor fumbled with both his words and his hands before he finally pulled out a rather grandmother-like tin from one of the drawers. “Sorry it’s nothing substantial, but hopefully they help take the edge off.”

You stared between him and the outstretched round tin for a few moments.  When you failed to take a biscuit from the mismatched variety presented to you, Romani visibly sweated.  He receded into himself as he withdrew the aluminium box from the offer.

A sigh left you.

“Look, I appreciate the care and effort, but can I just go home?” you asked with a weary weight to your words.

Werewolves and dragons had long since drained any shock from your system and there only existed a tired desire to return to your bed and sleep for hours on end.  Death was no longer a great fear compared to continuing the seemingly endless nightmare that had been the past few days for you. Discovering magic was cool. Discovering magic that was trying to kill you was not as cool.

Romani’s brow furrowed at your request and you did not like the grimace that clearly expressed his reservations that soon answered your question, “I… don’t think so.  That is--look, the circumstances of your appearance are strange enough as is. We’re not sure when or if we can send you back to where you belong. To begin with, we don’t know where you came from.”

It was your turn for your expression to sour.

“I already told you where I’m from.  Just, call a ride for me or something,” you suggested.

“It’s not that simple,” the male sighed. “We didn’t get the chance to explain everything to you earlier because of all the fighting, but nothing exists outside of this facility.  The world has been destroyed.”

You stared at him in scrutiny and the doctor fidgeted under your gaze before sighing once more.

“Look, what was the date when you… met Ritsuka and Mash?” he asked.

A full date immediately left your mouth.

Romani grimaced again and picked up a fancy looking digital tablet from the desk behind him. “This is today’s date.”

Taking the tablet, you adjusted the angle until you could read the screen.  In bold text, a date a few days after what you had given the doctor was illuminated before you.  What you noticed, however, was the year. Your eyes narrowed as you looked back up at the physician.

“This can’t be right,” you immediately tried to argue. “Are you sure this is set right?”

“It is.  For our world, anyways.”

“Wait, world?  You’re not saying…”

The redhead nodded at you. “From what I’ve gathered, you’re from an alternate world where none of this has happened.  That’s the only way you could come from a date after the incineration of humanity.”

“Okay, fine, alternate worlds can be a thing,” you grumbled and rubbed your temples after handing back the tablet. “But why can’t I go back to my world then?”

The doctor was slow in answering you.  He seemed to fumble with his words for a bit before an aggravated huff left him.

“To not get too technical, the method we used to travel to France is more like time travel than anything else.  It doesn’t exactly have the capability to cross into parallel worlds. Think of it like trying to go horizontally in a vertical pipe,” he explained while making directional motions with his gloved hands. “Anyways, we don’t know what caused you to get caught up in our Rayshift to begin with and, if we can’t pinpoint the exact moment and location to send you back to, then we risk sending you into a voidless eternity basically.”

A groan passed your lips as you sank into yourself and your face fell into your hands.

“So you’re saying I’m stuck here?” you grumbled.

“Well, yeah…” Romani agreed none too helpfully.

“Where even is here?” you questioned the doctor with a slight glare.  Not that you were angry with him, but the situation was more than a bit frustrating.

Somehow, the man laughed off your hard look and smiled at you.

“Welcome to Chaldea!”


	2. Solace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TroublShootn asked for the reader going around avoiding everyone in some way so I did my best to incorporate that! I wanted to introduce Ritsuka and the kind of person he'll be in this story so I kind of combined the two ideas. A couple things about the reader of this collection: they're a folklore/myth buff to be an opposite of Ritsuka's usual cluelessness about most Singularities and Servants. I said this won't be in chronological order, but I guess the early chapters will be early in the game just to set up the scenario before we get into hijinks and such!

A huff left you as you huddled in on yourself against the corridor wall.  As far as you could tell, all the rooms around the area were not in use, which meant that no one should come around this way.  At least, you hoped. After being dropped off in a spare room by the doctor, you had been able to sit idle for only so long before you needed to do something.  Your activities did not, however, include company so you skulked around the base and halls while avoiding everyone you possibly could. Thankfully, the place was not too heavily populated--a drastic event had changed that according to Romani, but he did not spare you the details so you could only guess--and those who were around made enough noise to be easily detected.  Most of those spirits, Servants you had learnt while in France, carried an aura that made them stand out from the staff members. Not to mention their clothes. If you had to admit, it was mostly the clothes that told you who was and was not some sort of dead person who metaphysically came back through magic.

The thought drew a small groan from you as you remembered: magic was now a thing.  Real and true thaumaturgy existed in this world and you were caught up in a war based around it now.

The clacking of boots caught your attention and you mumbled a curse to yourself as you swiftly rose to your feet and slipped further into the winding corridors.  You just wanted to be alone for a while. A really long while. Romani had noted how calm you seemed about everything back in his office and truthfully you had been.  After nearly dying multiple times a day, there was only so high your stress levels could rise. Now in the calm after the storm, however, your body was fatigued and the tension wore on you greatly.  Usually you would curl up in your room and just ride out the waves of depression, but the place they assigned you was so sterile it only provided more discomfort than anything else.

You sighed and shuffled your knees closer to your chest.  You were stuck with nothing but the clothes on your back and even those had been taken by the dangers of Orleans as they were damaged beyond repair and Chaldea had provided you with a spare outfit.  It was plain, but at least the threads were not the staff or member uniforms. You would have probably been more comfortable in your bare skin than something as mechanical as those clothes.

As your worries and gripes continued to pile in your mind, you were lost in thought until a hand softly shook your shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

You only managed to muffle your scream of surprise because your mouth was already resting against your arms.  When you turned towards the voice, the dark-haired boy leaning over you looked just as surprised as you at your jumpiness.  He called your name in question and your fight or flight response started to level back out as you remembered where you were.

“Are you lost?” Ritsuka asked as he looked around the empty halls.

“...No,” you mumbled in reply. “I… just want to be alone.”

The brunet’s brow furrowed and he settled down next to you in a tentative crouch.

“Doctor Roman and Da Vinci told me and Mash about where you probably came from.  You must be sad that you can’t go home right now…” he tried to soothe you, as awkward as his words were.

A groan echoed from you and you ran a hand through your hair. “Ritsuka, that really doesn’t help,” you informed him bluntly.

“Oh, uh, sorry!” he bumbled for a second. “What I mean is maybe you’re stuck with us now, but it doesn’t mean you can’t go home eventually!  Da Vinci is really smart and so is everyone else here! I’m sure they’ll figure it out.”

You wanted to just fall over and drag yourself away in second-hand embarrassment at the boy’s words.  He was trying, you could tell, but the effort did not make up for how badly he was doing.

“Look, Ritsuka, just… can you just show me to the kitchen or something?  I’m hungry,” you intervened before the young Master could embarrass himself anymore.

A bright look of accomplishment overtook his expression as if he believed he had made an impact with his words.  Such a sweet child that you could only shake your head at. In a fervour, Ritsuka was back on his feet with a hand held out for you.  Feeling lazy, you let the male help you up. With a dizzyingly emphatic smile that bordered on ditzy, the new magus led you down the various halls all while telling you about the Servants who liked to make the kitchen their home.  It was only temporary and just a little, but the boy’s enthusiasm helped to brighten that dimness in your chest.

Without thinking, you let yourself pat the male’s unruly hair.

“You’re a little dull, but I guess you’re a good guy, Ritsuka.”

“Huh, uh, thanks?”


	3. Cat Ears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was up till 5 am crying over Arjuna Alter when his banner released and I'm still not over it. I won't be rolling until two years later, but I'm sure as hell gonna pull a Zakki and NP5 him just you watch me.

The incessant nag of someone staring at him buzzed under his skin and had yet to go away.  The Berserker was not much of one for interaction. Not that he hated it, but he was not always on the same wavelength as the other Servants; probably because he was more of a deity than a hero even after the Master’s hard work at helping him and Ascending him.  Arjuna had ignored the instinctive itch for the first few minutes, but the other party had yet to avert their eyes. He wanted to be at peace in the library, just studying human tales and relearning his humanity as (he hated to admit it but) Karna suggested.

With a small sigh, he finally gave in and turned his head to meet your gaze.

“Is there something I can help you with?” The words were smooth from the god, woven with an eloquence his earlier self would not have possessed.

You cocked your head before lifting your hands up and making pseudo-triangles atop your crown. “They look like cat ears.”

Of all the reasons you could have been staring intently at him for over five minutes, that was not the reason Arjuna would have thought it would be.

“They… do?” he replied hesitantly, a hand instinctively coming up to touch one of his horns.  The hard material had since diminished from its original size and were a bit stout he had to admit.

When he stopped to think about it, you were one of the most human residents left in the Shadow Border.  Sure there were a handful of staff and his Master, but you were not a proper magus nor had any history with the other world that warped many people.  If Arjuna wanted to relearn his humanity, then interacting with humans was the optimal method, was it not? He hoped his next action was not one he would regret, but even after speaking your piece you had yet to abstain from staring at the protrusions on his head.

“Did… you want to touch them?”

Your whole face lit up with excitement at Arjuna’s invitation and even your posture straightened from the awkward half-lay you were in, splayed across the armrest of the cushioned chair.

“Can I?” you double-checked.

The Alter gave a small nod of his head and you immediately hopped off the recliner to approach him.  Tentatively, you inched your fingers closer and closer until the tips brushed against the smooth horns.  Your expression took on a look of wonder that the Berserker could glimpse from between his bangs, what with his head lowered so you could reach without problems.  Your hands smoothed over the hardened protrusions until you found the courage to gently knead them between your grasp.

“Can you feel anything with these?” you asked as you continued playing with the unnatural material.

“Mm, not really.  Think of them like an elephant’s tusks,” he explained.

“You mean that literally or metaphorically?” you responded in turn to the Alter’s surprise. “Because I don’t see how you could fight with these, but it would make sense if they showed off your divinity or something like that.”

A laugh lined your words, but you were not mocking him in any way.  If anything, you were simply in a good mood talking to the Servant in that moment and a smile pulled at Arjuna’s lips as well.

“Maybe you’re right; they might just be cat ears now.”


	4. Wives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by APH_Wonderland. The more I learnt about Solomon's lore, the more Romani's character made sense to me. The guy literally gave his all powerful ring to a demon after being asked "You wanna' see something cool?" and got punked into beggarhood. I still love him.

“You know, I can’t stop thinking about it,” you blurted out.

Your arms were behind your head with your hands resting against the back of your neck casually.  Beside you, Ritsuka looked over as you spoke up.

“About what?” the young master prods.

Equally curious, Mash glances around her friend to look at you as well.  The three of you were taking a walk with Fou within the rebel-secured town.  You would have loved to talk to Robin Hood or Billy about their individual history, but they and Geronimo were all needed around the town by the people for various things or just keeping Nightingale from amputating someone’s limbs.  Your leisure walk had started as a mad dash away from said Servant to begin with.

“Well, the thing Mash mentioned: that the Doctor was possibly married before because of the ring on his hand,” you answered, a frown pulling at your lips.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but is there something really that odd about it?” Mash piped up.

“If I learnt anything through my years, it’s that it’s always the med students,” you continued cryptically.

“Um, always what?” Ritsuka echoed as the three of you came to a stop.

You turned to the other two and Fou with a grimace before explaining, “They always have a few screws loose.  Like, what if he isn’t a normal widower or something?”

Both Mash and Ritsuka stared at you with doubt.  By this point, they had gotten used to your off the rail thought process, but they hardly believed most if any of your wild theories.

“I don’t think Doctor Roman would be capable of such a thing,” Mash commented. “Like, before having the disposition to do it, I think he’d let such a plan easily slip to his wife first, right?”

“Oh, yeah, right?  And even if he managed to keep it a secret, could he really make a good enough plan to not get caught?” Ritsuka added.

“So maybe he’s just divorced?” you jumped in next. “He definitely seems like the kind of guy that would get dumped a lot.  Maybe he’s had a ton of marriages before that all ended in failure and he wears the ring to pretend he’s still married?”

More and more ideas and possibilities cropped up as the three of you continued talking, even pausing in your walk at some point to discuss theories in depth.  Even Fou seemed to have become invested in the conversation as you all blathered the time away.

* * *

“Do you remember that?” you asked Ritsuka after giving him a quick relay of what went down that time.

“Yeah, but what about it?” the magus ask from the other couch in the break room, going over a tablet with the next party formations on it.  He tried to hide it, but you could pick up the hint of sadness in his voice at the mention of the Doctor.

“Well, it just occurred to me is all that, since Romani was also Solomon, wouldn’t that mean I was kind of right?  The guy had hundreds of wives and even more concubines in the tales,” you mentioned as casually as you could, rolling over onto your back on the couch.

Ritsuka choked on his drink at your words and you debated going over to give his back a good smack.  Thankfully, the boy regained his breath soon enough and turned to you with a shocked visage.

“Wait, seriously?  He did?”

“Man, you really don’t know much about these kinds of things,” you quipped without venom. “But, yeah, that’s what all the stories said.”

“Huh, what a shocker,” the youth murmured to himself.

A small smile pulled at your lips as the lower tones in his voice seemed to disappear and Ritsuka was not as focused on the recent loss and more intrigued by the new information.

“You wanna’ hear more?” you prompted as you sat up. “I know a few tales about Solomon’s time.”

The excitement in his eyes was enough of an answer already.


	5. Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an idea I had ever since the America chapter released NA and I'm glad to finally get it out of my system. I'm going to try not to turn my personal writing into purely Arjuna-centric stories, but I make no promises. I'm glad his new voice line in JP finally acknowledges his character development as he bonds with the Master and I can't wait for two years to go by.

“Let go of me, damn it!”

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?  Either way, I promised Master and the little miss not to let anything happen to you, so no can do!”

A frustrated screech left you as you struggled against Robin Hood’s carry.  At this rate, neither of you were going to make it, yet he refused to drop you.  You stopped struggling long enough to glance over the green-clad hero’s shoulder and your nerves erupted in even worse panic as you noticed the pursuing Servant was closer than before.

“I’m not dragging you down with me, Archer!  Sorry, but you at least have to make it back to Ritsuka!” With that declaration, you angled your head just enough to bite fiercely into the Heroic Spirit’s ear.

“Shit!  What the actual--gah!” Robin’s complaint was cut short as you finally managed to struggle your way out of his bridal carry.

Free of Archer’s protection, you rolled to soften your fall before facing the quickly approaching enemy.  Without looking back, you yelled your order, “Hurry up and get out of here! I can stall him for at least a minute or two so make sure you meet back up with the others!”

“And I told you I can’t let you do that!” the Servant argued.  He slid to a stop on the dusty ground before pivoting to run back and grab you, but he was too late.

The enemy Archer had arrived.

“Oh?  You’re not thinking of fighting me, are you?”

With a grimace, you unsheathed your rapier and took a ready stance.  You could feel the tremors in your hands at facing certain death, but there was so much more at stake than just your life.  What did it matter anyways? You had no family here, no friends outside of Chaldea, and it was not like you actually existed in this world to begin with.  You had nothing to lose, but everyone else around you did.

“Damn it, don’t do it!” Robin shouted from behind you, his own bow at the ready to fire.  He was too far to make it to you in time, and you really did wish he had just gotten away while he could have.

“Unfortunately,” you eventually spoke up, a soft quiver to your voice, “I’m well aware of how this will go down, but that doesn’t mean I can’t land a couple of my own brand of blows before I bite the dust.” You clenched your jaw to stop the shaking and smiled to the best of your ability.

Only a few metres away from you, the Servant raised a brow at your proclamation. “You really think you could hurt me?”

A grin wormed its way onto your face at his words and you sheathed your sword.

“Oh you won’t be bleeding, but you’ll wish you were instead, oh great hero of the Mahabharata.  You’ll wish you could shoot down my words as easily as you could my body.” By this point, your smile had loosened into something dark and Arjuna stiffened as your eyes glinted with malice. “Blessed with everything, weren’t you?  And yet, the one who was thrown away, bound to servitude, cursed a thousand times over by the same gods that treasured you would forever be happier and more honourable than you could ever wish.”

The hero’s teeth gritted harshly as he realised what you were doing.  He immediately nocked an arrow on his bowstring and commanded you in a single syllable, “Stop.”

“Through your own faults and mistakes, you force yourself on opposing sides and for what?  Selfish honour? Retribution? A misplaced grudge? The past is recorded in history and your mistakes will live on eternally,” you egged him on relentlessly.  The tremor of Arjuna’s hands was visible as he shook in anger and you knew you only had a few more seconds.

“You’re a murderer!” you hollered with as much force as you could muster, staring him right in the eye.

Sounding more like a beast than man, Arjuna let out an enraged shout before the lightning crackled and exploded forth from his bow.  Robin Hood yelled for you to move as he made a mad dash for you, but you stood in place and accepted your punishment. Besides knowing you could not dodge it, you were cruel and ruthless and you knew you deserved his anger.  There was just the small hope that it would be a quick death.

Yet, instead of blistering pain or burning heat, you only felt cool air as you were swept off your feet at the sound of metal meeting metal.

“I can’t say I approve of your methods, but those guts will be invaluable,” a voice, smooth and elegant, spoke as crackling electricity fizzled out beside the new figure.

Before you could ask what was happening, a sharp sting bloomed in your face as Robin pinched your cheeks harshly. “You goddamned idiot!  You’re getting an earful from me and Master later, you hear?”

Unable to speak, you could only nod lamely with tears pricking your eyes before he finally let go.  Free once more, you looked over to where the voice had come from before and found a woman clad in purple with an aura of grace and authority.

“Who are you?” Arjuna barked out, clearly frustrated at having his arrow effortlessly knocked away.

“I have no obligation to answer,” the newcomer spoke, but the rest of her words were lost to the residual ringing in your ears from Arjuna’s arrow.

Before long, a whole conversation brewed as Cú Chulainn and Medb appeared as well.  At some point, the group let the two of you go and Robin was more than accepting of the retreat as he picked you back up and dashed off.  As he ran, you glanced back only to catch dark eyes casting you one more harsh glare.

* * *

‘Bad!  This is so bad!  How could you let this happen, Ritsuka!’ you screamed internally as you stood outside the summoning room with a new Servant beside you.  By this point you had interacted with kings, emperors, tyrants, and all sorts of humans and nonhumans, but the one person you probably never wanted to see again was now your charge and under your care for adjusting to his new home of Chaldea.  Unfortunately, you were sure you were number two on Arjuna’s personal hit list.

It seemed Arjuna had been summoned alongside Karna and the result had not been too great.  Ritsuka immediately led Karna away while Mash found you and informed you of your new duty, coincidentally failing to mention just who was waiting for you.

“Um, well,” you stumbled for a moment before somewhat pitifully introducing yourself.

Arjuna nodded and returned his name plainly.

“You, uh, don’t happen to remember times you were summoned previously, do you?”

“Typically, Heroic Spirits don’t remember their previous summons, but with the Throne of Heroes as it is, the phenomenon seems to be occurring a lot lately.”

Dread crept through your veins.

“Do you remember being summoned recently then…?”

A sigh left the man.

“I remember.  All of it.”

That was enough to send your mind into overdrive.  Panic washed over your system and you felt like your brain was overheating.  A million thoughts rushed through your head as you tried to figure out what to say, but your nerves kept firing electrical signal after signal with no real intent.  Before you knew it, tears welled at your eyes as the rush of emotions overwhelmed you.

“I-I’m sorry,” you blubbered. “I know I said some horrible things!  I just thought if you focused on me, Robin could get away still and I know it’s unforgivable, but I’m really sorry…!”

“Stop.”

The single command--the same one he gave you before--rang clearly in your head and you shut your mouth immediately.

“I… understand your reasoning.  I can’t say I forgive you, at least not yet, but I’m not mad at you,” Arjuna spoke slowly and enunciated his words clearly so even your muddled state could understand him easily. “And, that is, you… were not entirely wrong.  You gave me a lot to think about.”

You blinked away a stray tear and looked up at the Archer.  He was looking far away from you to the point you could not see his face, but you could see the tension in his shoulders.  Taking a deep breath, you steadied your voice before replying.

“Okay.  All right, that’s fair.  We’ll probably both be stuck here in Chaldea for a while so we can work this out,” you blathered more for your own comfort than anything. “I’m going to try this again.  Welcome to Chaldea, Arjuna! I’m going to show you around and stuff, but I’ll be in your care, too!”

With a lopsided yet undeniably bright smile you moved to stand in front of the Servant and extended a hand.  It took a moment, but Arjuna returned the handshake and you swore there was the slightest hint of a smile of his own as well.


	6. Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SWEAR I WILL WORK ON REQUESTS I just have a lot of ideas to get out of my system _(:3

Your laugh echoed around the room, bouncing off the lavish walls and ringing in everyone’s ears.  That included your own. Staring you down with a haughty smirk was a mirror reflection of yourself seated on an ornate silver throne.  The hall was decorated in all manner of crystal and chrome architecture and you hated to admit you somewhat admired their taste.

“Really?  You think you can appeal to some forgotten emotion in my half of a heart and I’ll willingly give up?  What kind of kid’s movie do you think this is?” your own voice taunted the group.

“Geez, this corrupted version of you is kind of a jerk,” Ritsuka commented with a resigned huff as he scratched his head.  You shot the boy a sour look.

Through a long string of complicated events, you happened upon a stray Holy Grail in Ritsuka’s room while attempting to clean the young Master’s quarters while he ran daily chores with the Servants.  He was probably going to use it on a Servant upon his return, but you, in your curiosity, ended up playing with the thing too much and now a whole miniature Singularity-like issue cropped up with the Grail taking your form at the centre of it.  The whole ordeal was downright stupid in your opinion.

“Well, according to Da Vinci, your other self has a similar signature reading as a Servant so as long as we can defeat it, all should be good!” Ritsuka said cheerily, oblivious to your disdain. “And since they’re a Saber right now, I brought our best Archers!”

“Really, mongrel?  You dragged me out here for this?”

“I hate to agree with him, but I suppose I can let it slide this time since you did call me the best.”

“If Master orders it, I will serve faithfully.  That is all.”

Both your doppelganger and your own face dropped at the sight of the magus’ main party.

“Ritsuka, you didn’t…” you trailed off in disbelief.

“Don’t worry, Big Sib!  We’ll get this cleaned up in no time!” the brunet announced.

“You… you idiot!” you screeched before rounding on the boy. “You brought, Gilgamesh, Ishtar, and Arjuna of all people?!  Forget the Grail, they’re going to try to kill me instead and pretend they mistook me for that thing!”

“Huh?” Ritsuka cocked his head before he laughed. “There’s no way they’d do that, right guys?”

Chaldea’s Master turned towards his three Servants who all remained silent and averted their eyes in various directions.

“Guys...?”


	7. Ice Cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Nix the Watcher. I've been meaning to watch the Kara no Kyoukai movies and I really should soon, but otherwise I don't know much about the series. Thankfully, a lot of Shiki's personality comes across from the way she talks (she's surprisingly expressive) so this wasn't too hard to write, but I hope I did okay!

A tired sigh left you as you traversed the Chaldean halls.  A fight nearly broke out between the team’s Servants during the day’s material search and the tension all mission was palpable.  You went along to help carry items back and maybe get some nice sun yet ended up playing mediator and physical barrier along with Ritsuka for the whole time.  Thankfully, you were all back and it was time for you to relax.

“Well, you look like crap,” came a voice as you turned into the main kitchen.

“Hello to you, too, Shiki,” you responded with a grunt.

The woman leaned against the kitchen island as she greeted you.  Her only response was to take a bite of ice cream from her small cup with the wooden spoon and you soon eyed the sweet treat.

“Do we have any more of those?” you asked as you pointed at the dessert.

Shiki threw a thumb over her shoulder at the freezers. “Go ham.”

A small smile curled your lips as you walked over and dug through the freezer shelves for your desired flavour and cream content.  Eventually, you took a place near the woman on the same island.

“So,” you piped up after a couple of bites, “how’s Chaldea treating you?  There’s a lot of weird ones here so it gets nasty sometimes.”

“They’re not too much worse than anything I’ve already dealt with,” Shiki replied with a shrug.  She took another scoop of ice cream before looking at you from the corner of her eye. “You’re the one who should watch out.”

“Huh?” you hummed around your wooden spoon.

Shiki sighed before she turned to face you. “Well, you know, we’re both from a different world without a lot of this Servant stuff, but I at least have my eyes.  You’re just a run of the mill person, aren’t you?”

You pressed your tongue to the roof of your mouth as the ice cream melted and you mulled over her words.  Shiki had a point that you were pretty normal as far as biometrics were concerned, yet…

“Everyone is doing something to help, though.  I can’t just sit back and be a burden without trying,” you answered as you stared her down.

The woman hummed as she stared back before breaking contact by closing her eyes. “Well, I can’t tell you what to do.”

She shrugged as she returned to her dessert.  The two of you continued to eat in silence for a few minutes before Shiki cleaned her small cup of the melting treat.  She stood straight with a huff and tossed the empty container and spoon into the nearest trash can.

“I’m just saying, though, it would suck to lose the only other sane person in this place,” her words echoed as she was already departing from the room, halfway into the hall.

A smile pulled at your lips as sweet sugar melted on your tongue.


	8. Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> H-Hello I'm back for a bit haha. I got really burnt out after that Karna oneshot I posted a while back so I've been on break (and working on an Arjuna companion fic but that's ahem). I wanted to bust something out for this collection though so I hope I can get to requests again soon! Pio-sensei is a gift and I love him.

You were not a frontline fighter by any means, but being Ritsuka’s self-appointed guard while Mash took on the brunt of enemies led to your own fair share of injuries.  Better you than the boy, you would at least defend your actions and no one could argue against the importance of the life of humanity’s last Master. Still, enduring pain and wounds was not your favourite past time.

Having to visit the infirmary in the Shadow Border even less so.

“I don’t want to go!  It’s just a flesh wound, Ritsuka!” you cried as the male man-handled your struggling form down the hall.  Mash stood by to help if need be, but Ritsuka managed quite well what with your weakened state.

“Medical checks are necessary, Big Sib! Last time you insisted you were okay, we found you passed out and bleeding at your room door!” the young Master argued back as he bodily pulled you along.

“The doctors are too scary!” you whined in return, fighting back feebly. “Nightingale keeps insisting on amputating my left leg because of the scar, y’know!  And Sanson still refuses to accept that bloodletting is outdated!”

You could feel the shudder that ran through Ritsuka’s body, the mage knowing all too well the fears you spoke of.  Even so, his grip on you did not loosen and you were forced ever closer to the door leading to your accursed fate. The two of you continued back and forth for some time as you were inched towards the infirmary.  Just as you were dragging your fingers against the smooth floors in an attempt to claw your way out, the door slid open with a mechanical whir and a shadow casted over your struggling forms.

“Will the two of you shut up?  You’re interrupting my research.”

When you looked up with a sound of confusion, you found a familiar pair of emerald green eyes staring you down with disdain.

“H-Huh?  Aren’t you-?”

“Doc!  I brought you a patient!” Ritsuka seemed to sigh in relief.

Unfortunately, the Servant was less than enthused. “You know I hate patients.”

“But they’re not a mage,” the Master responded much to your confusion.

The tidbit seemed to catch the doctor’s attention, however, as his gaze softened to what you guessed was curiosity behind his beak-shaped mask.  He--you remembered now, his name was Asclepius--turned to you once more with sharp eyes as he hummed in thought. All the tension in your body faded and your own relief swept through you.  Asclepius was the Greek god of medicine and he surely knew more than the other Servants who had tried to treat your wounds before. If you remembered correctly from your time correcting the last Lostbelt, he actually cared about the advancement of medicine so he was at least not as deranged as some others when it came to treatments.

“You were shouting about a medical check?  Get off the floor and sit on one of the beds.  If we’re lucky, maybe I’ll find something interesting,” he mused.

“Huh?  Interesting?” you repeated in confusion.  No longer wary, you had done as he asked and entered the infirmary without Ritsuka’s persuasion for once.

“A normal human exposed to so much magecraft and other strange phenomena?  Maybe you’ve contracted a brand new disease for me to study,” Asclepius explained rather nonchalantly as he led you into the office.

You blanched at the sudden turn of events.  This doctor was just as improperly focused as the others, you realised.  Before you could make a mad dash out of the room, however, you turned around to see Ritsuka mouthing an apology before he pressed a hand to the wall and the door slid shut.  A scream choked in your throat as you reached for the automatic door, but there was no response. The metal did not budge even as you tried to pry it open with your still sore fingers.

“You shouldn’t overexert yourself, you’ll skew the testing results,” a calm voice commanded from behind you.

When you turned around, you noticed the Servant had changed from his long-sleeved outfit into something reminiscent of medical scrubs, taken off his mask, and even tied his hair back in a ponytail.  All of that was only a momentary distraction though compared to the needle you noticed in one of his hands.

“First, I’ll need to draw some blood.”

Ritsuka assured himself this was for the best as he heard your screams down the hall.


	9. What If?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is completely non-canon to the collection, but I really wanted to write this. I had a much longer version in mind, but I'm lazy and the rest of it wasn't as interesting lol. (Requests? What requests? THEY'LL HAPPEN I SWEAR I'M JUST BUSY AND RECOVERING FROM BURN OUT)

_ Don’t leave me. _

_ Why am I alone? _

_ Someone--anyone, please… _

Your eyes fluttered open and a small grunt left your lips as you readjusted to the waking world.  The dredges of your dream linger at the edge of your thoughts, but whatever it was you saw and heard that night in the confines of the unconscious stayed there.  You whined a bit as you stretched your livening limbs. Dreams had long since been disregarded by you considering your current situation and the constant stress found within the Shadow Border.

And yet, the small voice stained a corner of your thoughts with its words each night.

_ Call for me. _

You rolled restlessly under your covers.

_ I’m waiting. _

Your feet slid onto the cold floor, but the temperature change did not affect your hazy mind.

_ Wield the chain. _

A puff of air escaped your lips, but silence followed you as your soles padded against the smooth floors.  The world was a blur to your eyes, but your body knew where to go. Your hand rested against the scanner for the double doors and the steel slid open with a small whir as it recognised your print.  Darkness cloaked the hall as only a select few people ever had a purpose in this room and none were present. Despite knowing this, your unconsciousness moved your forward until you took his place. As if recognising your presence, a soft light flickered to life at your feet and spread into an elaborate pattern of thaumaturgy before you.  The space just below you burned brighter than the rest of the sigil as if to call to you. In your trance, you raised your thumb to your mouth and bit through the skin without hesitation. Vermillion bubbled to the surface and started to slip down the appendage, but you were careful not to waste a single drop and used the liquid life to satiated the hungry magic at your feet.  Your blood stained the old letters in its hue and spurred the sigil to life. You stepped back and held out your hand to let the traces of scarlet fluid continue to drip into the circle as your mouth began to chant.

“Let the beginning be your etude.  Dirt is the body, but a soul for the heart.”

The words left your lips with an uncanny smoothness.

“That which belongs neither with nor without as I am both here and nowhere.  We are not the bounded, not the contracted, not the destined. Breathe with the earth and awaken that which slumbers.”

A breeze picked up around you until wind combed through your hair and the spinning sigil sped up with each passing moment.

“If you wish for freedom, then accept my confinement.  Craft the Heavens and tear asunder your chains. I call to thee.”

The sound of your blood hitting the floor was lost to the whipping wind.

“I call to thee.”

A banging could be faintly heard behind you as someone pounded at the steel doors.

“I call to thee!”

Screeching metal rung out as one of the entrance panels flew out of the frame and skidded across the floor.

“What are you doing!?”

“Master, wait!”

“Fujimaru!”

Despite feeling as if the wind was using your own supply of air, you opened your mouth.

“We who choose to be False!”

As the light peaked into a blinding column, arms wrapped around your torso and dragged you back from the summoning circle.  Breathlessness overcame you as the fall knocked the wind out of you, but the sigil’s revolutions did not cease as the ritual continued.

“Are you two okay?”

The voice was familiar to your ears, but there was a remnant cloudiness to your thoughts as consciousness began to finally take over your mind.  You coughed from the dryness in your throat as you tried to breathe. The wind was dying down, but it still made opening your eyes a bit difficult.  By the time you were fully lucid, the lights in the ceiling had been turned on and you could see Mash in her full armour kneeled over you. Movement behind you notified you that Ritsuka still had a hold around you as the male supported your body weight.

“What’s… going on?” you asked after a small cough as air finally refilled your lungs.

“That’s what we want to know.”

You looked up at the stern voice to see the small form of Da Vinci staring down at you with hard eyes.

“Um…” you tried to respond as you racked your brain for memories from the last twenty or so minutes, but nothing would come up.

As you flapped your mouth wordlessly, the sound of padding feet caught everyone’s attention.  Your heads all turned to the settling light of the sigil as a figure stepped out.

“Mash,” Da Vinci hissed as you all three seemed to be frozen.

“S-Servant presence detected!” the girl announced as she came back from her shock. “Master, your orders!”

“Well, this isn’t quite the welcome party I expected,” a familiar voice called out as they approached.

“E-Enkidu?” Ritsuka called out as he pulled you both to your feet.

You eased yourself out of the Master’s hold.  Your head spun a bit as you all found the ever ethereal presence of Enkidu emerging from the dying thaumaturgy.  Yet, something in your gut told you that this was not Enkidu. You had pieced together that you were in the summoning room and a ritual had taken place, though it did not seem as if Ritsuka had been doing one of his usual summons.  To begin with, Enkidu had long since answered Ritsuka’s summons to protect humanity, so who was this look-alike standing before you? There was not much time for you to ponder as you felt ice wash over your form and you realised that the new Servant was staring right at you.  There was nothing hostile about their presence so far, but it was as if they were waiting on you specifically. Instinctually, you stepped forward and the questioning call of your name from Ritsuka went ignored. Eventually, you stood toe to toe with the Servant and your eyes widened as you stared into familiar violet hues.

“Kingu?” you breathed.

The whole room froze.

The pleasant yet empty smile on Kingu’s face stretched into something real before he let out a chuckle.

“My True Name is Kingu.  I am here to answer your summons.”

“Did… Did I summon you?” you asked in disbelief.

“Quite the shock, I know,” he replied.

Silence enveloped everyone in a lull as you processed the new information.  You, the person from another world, had summoned a Servant. It was Da Vinci who managed to break the blanket of wordlessness first.

“All right everyone, time to stop gawking!” she called with a clap of her hands before your name left her lips. “I need you and Kingu to come with me.  We’re going to give you a medical exam immediately.”

“Huh, why?” you yelped.

“We have no idea if your magic circuits can handle the strain of sustaining a Servant.  To begin with, your circuits are still a mystery to us and we don’t know how you handle Magecraft.  Every attempt to teach you before has failed and now you suddenly summon a Servant? Holmes is going to have a hayday,” she explained in rapid fire words.

A sense of foreboding washed over you, but you knew she was right.  You were not a Master--at least, you were not supposed to be. So what was going on?  You felt a hand on your shoulder and looked over to see Kingu giving you a small but reassuring smile.

“As long as you have these, they are proof enough, are they not?”

His words confused you for a moment before he lifted your right hand by the wrist and you saw the intricate ruby lines that decorated your skin.  Command seals--you possessed command seals as a mark of a Master. You looked between them and Kingu and, for a moment, you felt that everything would be all right.

“Oh, by the way,” you piped up as a thought crossed your mind. “Are you a Lancer, Kingu?”

The Servant blinked before a wide smile stretched his lips.

“Oh, no, I am not.  Did I not mention my class?” he replied.

“Huh?  If you’re not a Lancer like Enkidu then…” Ritsuka trailed off as he stared quizzically.

“Let me reintroduce myself; my name is Kingu and my class is Faker.”

* * *

“Interesting.  How truly peculiar,” Holmes hummed as he studied the test results with Da Vinci.

Something about the Ruler had always set you on edge.  You trusted him as an ally and he had proved himself to be a valuable one many a time, but you were more than familiar with his tendency to disregard or even lack empathy if it was not sociopathy all together.  A little behind you, Kingu stood with his eyes wandering the infirmary curiously. No matter how much knowledge one was given during a summoning, experiencing such foreign concepts was completely different you supposed.

“So, uh,” you tried to speak, but the words died on your tongue.

Da Vinci sighed as she and Holmes shared a look before she answered you,” Yes, well, your vitals and all your blood work are as normal as can be.”

“Your magic circuits, however, are still a complete enigma to us!” Holmes chimed in and rather chipper at that. “We can ascertain a mana flow within you and now a connection to Sir Kingu here, but every time we try to analyse your mana we get nothing but more questions.  It is quite the mystery.”

You did not like the excited spark in the Ruler’s eyes as if he were looking forward to dissecting you in the future.  A shiver ran down your spine as you did not put it beneath the man.

“And Kingu, you really don’t know anything about how you were summoned?” Da Vinci probed.

“I’m being honest when I say I don’t,” he answered with an indifferent shrug.

You noticed that Kingu seemed to have a slight attitude when interacting with anyone, yet he turned to you and offered a small smile.  The difference in treatment struck you as odd considering he had been an enemy during your time in Babylonia and he clearly remembered that.

“Well, there’s not much we can do right now,” Da Vinci sighed. “It would be best if you simply got some rest for now and we’ll figure out new arrangements in the morning.”

“If you’re telling me to go back to bed, then I’ll gladly take you up on that,” you replied with a yawn already bubbling in your throat.

Da Vinci nodded. “Holmes and I will continue with studying your results, but we’re going to see how you function as a Servant and Master pair later, so be ready.”

Not really caring what that meant, you nodded and hopped off the stool.

“C’mon Kingu, you can take the empty room near mine,” you called to your new companion.

The trek back to your quarters was silent as most of the Servants were resting and the stray night owls paid the two of you no mind.  As you reached the door to the bedroom you remembered to be vacant, you stopped and turned to face the new Servant only to find him studying you quite intently.  You cocked your head and waved a hand.

“Kingu?” you called.

“Why haven’t you said anything?”

“...Do you want me to ask?”

For the first time, his brow furrowed at you and the pleasantness left his expression.  His irises like petunia petals hardened into a harsher gaze that you could finally recognise.

“Look,” you sighed, “I’m tired.  I’m not stupid, but at this point I just don’t care.  I may not remember it, but I called for you, right? And you answered.  That has to count for something.”

The verdant-haired Servant frowned. “Are all of you in this place like that?  I’m amazed you haven’t been wiped out yet.”

“It’s infectious.” You shrugged and this time Kingu sighed.

“You humans…” he muttered with a huff. “Fine, you win.  You’re right after all, I did answer you, but I won’t call you Master.”

“That’s fine by me,” you replied. “I don’t know about saving humanity, but if we go out there let’s kick ass, Kingu.”

A wry smirk pulled at the Servant’s lips as a grin lit your own expression.

* * *

The sensation of a hundred pairs of eyes watching you weighed on your confidence and it made you want to hurl.  Damn these Servants for spreading the news of your summoning so fast. As you and Kingu stood in one of the training rooms of Shadow Border, you could hear Da Vinci trying to fight her way to the operations desk that controlled that specific room.

“Argh!  Okay, you two there!  Can you hear me?” she eventually called through the intercom.

“Loud and clear,” you answered, lazily looking around the grand forest your mock battle was to take place in.

“All right, a very special Servant has volunteered to be your opponent in this test so don’t worry and go all out!” Da Vinci cheered before communications went silent.

You wondered what she meant by someone special, but your question was soon answered by booming laughter.

“Fuhahahaha!  So the mongrel managed to not only summon a Servant, but a Faker at that?  This I have to see for myself!”

A groan immediately left you as you dragged a hand down your face. “Fuck.”

“I understand, but this isn’t the time to let disdain influence you,” Kingu chided you.

When you looked over at your Servant, you could not help but bark back at him, “And what’s with that face you’re making!?”

Kingu’s expression had dropped into one of complete disgust and revulsion.  His eyes were as dead as a corpse and he avoided looking at you as you called him out.  Before he could continue with a retort, a sword came flying through the air and your Servant’s quick reflexes were the only thing that kept you from being beheaded on the spot.

“Get back!” he ordered as he took a defensive stance in front of you.

“You should know better than to let your guard down in a fight,” Gilgamesh growled as golden sparks shimmered in the air with his appearance into physical form.

Your vision thinned as the light from between the trees gleaned off of the king’s flamboyant armour.  God, you hated dealing with the Archer in any capacity.

“Hey, Kingu,” you called in a low voice to avoid being overheard.

“What?” he replied just as softly.

You sucked in a deep breath and charged mana through the command seals on your hand before shouting, “Kick his ass!”

“With pleasure!” Kingu agreed and you could hear the grin in his voice as he shot a barrage of chains at the other Servant.

As the two fired their weapons at each other, matching blow for blow, you did your best to stand back yet within Kingu’s defensive range.  It was odd to not be the one fighting for once, but your experience let you stay on your toes and keep moving out of Gilgamesh’s line of fire as needed.  Your rapier weighed at your hip, but you knew better than to draw it at this time. Though it was a mock battle, with Giglamesh as your opponent, there was no choice but to take this other than as seriously as you could.  You watched Kingu’s movements and helped to charge his volleys with as much magical energy as you could, still unsure of how to channel your circuits, but the burning of your seals told you when you were at least somewhat successful.

“Hmph, you have their appearance and their power, yet this is the best you can do?” Gilgamesh taunted as he deflected another chain. “Or does the fault lay with your useless Master?  Entertain me better!”

Kingu did not offer a response and only continued to attack the other Servant.  Long ranged attacks obviously at a draw, he feinted another volley only to use the ensuing collision as cover to begin a close ranged offensive.  You watched as the two continued to fight, yet it was obvious the Gilgamesh was not giving any ground at all and you were starting to feel the strain of supporting Kingu’s never ending barrage.  Your eyes trailed to the vibrantly red marks on the back of your hand. If you gave Kingu enough mana, would his Noble Phantasm be enough to settle the fight? As you deliberated the thought, a voice cut through the battle.

“Okay, that’s enough!  Good match everybody!” Da Vinci called cheerily.  “Thank you very much for generously helping us out today, Gilgamesh.”

The Archer only let out a huffy “hmph” as he stared you and your Servant down.

“How pitiable.  To think this is the level you are at, but it’s to be expected from a Faker I suppose,” the King of Heroes snubbed.

You were used to such words from the Archer and only rolled your eyes as a choice retort echoed in your mind.

“Ok, boomer.”

You choked on air as the very retort you were thinking of suddenly left Kingu’s mouth.

“Why you--!”

In a flash, Kingu scooped you up and dashed for the training room door.  Despite the sound of whistling steel passing you by, the grin on your Servant’s face was infectious as you felt your own lips pull upwards and laughter bubble in your throat.

The two of you could make this work, you thought.


	10. 10. Greeting Old Acquaintances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Duora: So we've seen what how Reader pissed off Arjuna, and Gil is Gil, but how did Reader piss off Ishtar? Can we get this as a chapter?
> 
> I am slowly, going to get things done. This was a really old idea and partial inspiration for the last chapter so if you see similarities, well, yeah. I finally got my Enkidu to 10/10/10 thanks to the Da Vinci rerun by the way! Just need to get enough grails (after saving for QSH and Junao) to max them and then clay can join Indo Kyoudai at NP5, 10-all, max graildom heheh.

“So, obviously, we have a lot of common rooms around the place.  Feel free to go where you like, really.” You shrugged after a wave of your hand to emphasise the space before you and your new companion.

“This place is a lot bigger than I expected,” the Servant remarked with honest curiosity.  Verdant irises swept over the room before they landed on you in a silent prompt to continue with the tour.

A polite smile pulled at your lips before you ushered them onward.  You pointed out the various facilities and rooms to Enkidu as the two of you walked.  They asked questions that you answered as best you could alongside the occasional joke.  Though they did not laugh, there was something about the smile you would be rewarded with that reassured you.  As the two of you made laps through Chaldea's halls, Enkidu suddenly stopped and turned toward a different path than you were currently headed down.

"Hm?  Something up?" you asked once you noticed the newest member of the Servant roster had stopped.

Enkidu's head snapped back to you with a surprised expression as if they forgot you were there for a second. "Ah, well…"

Before you could question the trailing of their words, someone else's interrupted you.

"Stop being so stingy!  I know there's extra in the fridge so why can't I have some?"

Another voice, deeper and more controlled answered the irritated party, but you could not make out the exact words.  Curiosity piqued, you trotted over to peek around the hall and noticed you had been passing by the main cafeteria. You quickly pieced together that the huskier of the two voices must have been Emiya given the kitchen was practically his home during his free time.  What surprised you was to see the back of Ishtar's floating form through the doorway. The two continued to bicker back and forth about one thing or another and you only hoped Ishtar's temper would not get the better of her. Your mind sated with answers, you turned back to Enkidu to address the new Lancer and suggest you continue on your way only to notice the focus in their gaze.  Their expression had dipped into a small frown and drawn eyebrows and it was then that you remembered what knowledge you had of Sumerian mythology. You shuffled your feet for a second as you hesitated, but eventually waved a hand in front of Enkidu's face for their attention.

They blinked at the sudden obstruction to their view and turned their attention back to you. "Oh, sorry about that.  I just didn't expect to see her here," he apologised and offered a small smile.

"S'all right," you responded with a shrug. "I know you two have… history."

Enkidu let out a somewhat dark chuckle, "Well, that's one way to put it.  It's a shame; if I had known I would run into that goddess I would have picked up something to throw at her," they joked, although you could tell there was a serious desire underlying the words.

You blinked a couple of times before you started rooting around your various pockets.  Your clothes had so many at this point to accommodate all the various items Ritsuka would pick up during Rayshifts that you always forgot something in some hidden hole.  Just as you expected, you found a rock in one of the smaller pockets of your jacket. It was a rather beautiful colour, that probably being the reason why you had it in the first place, but if you had forgotten about it until now it certainly had no real value.

"Here," you offered simply as you held the rock out to Enkidu.

The Servant was clearly surprised at the gift and they glanced between your face and your outstretched hand a few times.  "Are you sure?"

You nodded without hesitation and a small grin broke out on the Lancer's face.

Enkidu plucked the stone from your palm and weighted it in his own.  After getting a grasp of how the object would fly, they turned their full attention to the still floating Ishtar at the other end of the hall.  Eyes narrowed, they wound their arm back and, in a flash, whipped their arm forward and let the rock fly through the air. In only a fraction of a second later, a high pitched screech left the goddess mid-sentence as the stone collided with her skull.  Immediately, laughter bubbled in the back of your throat and you had to clamp your hands over your mouth. As Ishtar turned around yelling about curses and punishment, she went silent upon seeing Enkidu. Said Servant simply smiled and waved at her pleasantly.

In the next few seconds, Ishtar was screaming curses as she materialised Maanna and you and Enkidu bolted down the hall, laughter leaving your charge without remorse.  It was becoming so hard for you to run though, that you tripped over your own feet. Though you realised you were probably going to die at the hands of Ishtar's fury, going out laughing sounded pretty okay.  Before you hit the ground, however, you felt your body lifted into the air and you landed on something solid, stomach down.

"Leaving you behind would be rather rude of me, so hold on!" Enkidu advised with an amused lilt as they hoisted you over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Not one to waste the warning, you clutched to their robes tightly as you felt yourself answer their laughter with your own.

**Author's Note:**

> For requests, please keep in mind the reader has to be gender neutral. I will not be writing anything explicit in this collection (surprise). Feel free to request specific interactions/characters, but I cannot guarantee all requests will be fulfilled. Otherwise, expect a lot of memes.


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